As children, we learnt about the fairy-tale wedding but not a whole lot about what it takes to keep the spark alive particularly after having kids.
Fulfilling relationships are co-created. Couples who work together at keeping their relationship healthy by placing themselves ahead of their kids from time to time are more likely to stay together.
If you have a solid relationship full of love, laughter, respect, empathy and compassion then your children will reap the rewards of an environment full of love and respect.
Here are 4 tips that will help you keep your spark alive.
- Avoid having unrealistic expectations of your partner – expecting to get all or even most of your needs met is setting yourself up for disappointment. The reality is your partner cannot give you everything you need.
- Stop focusing on what annoys you about your partner, ask yourself why did you fall in love with them in the first place. Couples who show gratitude and appreciation towards one another feel a deep sense of connection.
- Understanding what makes you feel loved and emotionally connected may be very different to that of your partners. Emotional intimacy is built upon both partners being consistent and emotionally available to one another. Open communication will support you in understanding each other’s differences and expectations.
- Emotional wounding and defensiveness can spiral quickly out of control and traumatise your relationship. You need to be mindful of any negative communicative cycles.
While it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, just pick one thing that you both agree to work on and focus on changing your attitude and behaviors around this.
Over the years I have seen many couples create positive changes in their relationship with simple strategies like these. The key is to be consistent, persistent and positive with your behavior.