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February 1, 2019

7 MOST COMMON MISTAKES IN COMMUNICATION

 

 

Communication Barriers

BY: Solace Counselling Services

 

Here are my top 7 Communication barriers that I find contribute to the breakdown of many relationships. 

Take a look and see if you are guilty of including these in your relationship. 

If the answer is YES, then you have some work to do… 

 

 

MIND READING

Possible, Impossible, Opportunity

Assuming you know what the other person is thinking and feeling

 

 

AVOIDING CONFLICT –

Relationship, Couple, Conflict, Argument

Stonewalling –

Avoiding conflict walking away from resolution.

 

 

FORGETTING TO LISTEN 

Discussion, Restaurant, Business

Mentally rehearsing what you are going to say instead of listening 

 

 

BEING DEFENSIVE –

Compassion, Listening, Witnessing

Denying responsibility or taking accountability of your own actions or decisions.

 

 

OVER GENERALISING

African, Angry, Argument, Business

Blowing the issue out of proportion, over exaggerating the details.

 

 

BEING RIGHT 

 

Silhouette, Couple, People Man, Woman

The way you see things is always right.

 

 

PLAYING THE BLAME GAME

Conflict, Divorce, Megaphone, Yelling

Criticizing and blaming the other person for the situation- includes name calling.

 

 

February 1, 2019

5 WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION TIPS

 

5 WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION TIPS

By: Solace Counselling Services

Businessman, Team Spirit, Teamwork, Euro

 

Effective Communication in the workplace is vital to employee health  & well-being, overall happiness and workplace productivity!  These attribute to our WORK – LIFE – BALANCE theory.

Here are my top 5 Workplace Communication Tips that will support you in enhancing relationships and support productivity.

 

1.  Open Communication

Research has shown open communication builds trust among colleagues. It encourages an open environment where people feel comfortable to express their opinions and concern.   Communicating effectively can reduce stress and increase productivity and lift morale. Effective communicators get to the point and make their message clear.

 

2. Keep a positive attitude

Being conscious of your internal chatter will impact your attitude through-out your day.   Having a positive mindset will translate through your body language. 

The belief is 55% of communication is through body language, 33% is through your tone and 7% is actual words spoken. 

 

3. Be open to receiving feedback

Receiving feedback can be tricky, particularly if the person delivering the feedback is not communicating it to you effectively.  Our mindset can sabotage our ability to receive feedback if you are struggling with low self-confidence or self-esteem this will also impact your ability to process what the underlining feedback content is.

 

4. Observe and listen.

Active listening can be one of the most difficult communication techniques, however, once mastered it can be one of the most rewarding.

Here are a few active listening tips:

Avoid distractions when listening

Make eye contact

Hear to listen – Be objective and focus on hearing what the talker is saying

Paraphrase what you have heard

 

5. Conflict Management

Unfortunately, conflict in the workplace is anything but rare, some colleagues are driven through conflict while others duck and weave to avoid it. Conflict slows productivity, increases stress and fuels dissatisfaction.

If conflict arises, be aware not everyone has effective communication skills.  Often emotion takes over and the delivery could include strong tone, raised voice or sarcasm.   It is important you remain calm and be proactive in your response not reactive!

Be open and non-judgemental, Identify the core issue of the conflict.  You can do this through the above tips of active listening, being non-judgemental, paraphrasing back what you have heard and offering what you can do that will support them.

Remember, Respect for all colleagues in all work environments is essential, regardless of the circumstances, you deserve to be respected.

———————————————————

If you are experiencing conflict in your workplace, I offer training in conflict management and mediation/dispute resolution services.

 

Meeting, Business, Brainstorming

 

 

February 1, 2019

5 SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

 

5 Secrets to a successful relationship

BY: Solace Counselling Services

Couple, Holding Hands, Love, Beach

What type of habits have you and your partner adopted in your romantic relationship?

 Are these habits positive and support a happy and healthy relationship or are your habits dysfunctional and destructive causing you grief and sadness in your relationship? As you probably know by now, all relationships take work and both parties need to become aware of their contribution towards an unhappy relationship.

So, with that said, here are my top 5 secrets to a successful relationship.

1/ Communication:

Communication is one of the biggest keys to a successful relationship.  Unfortunately, during a conflict, this seems to be the first thing to leave.

Focus on being open and honest about your feelings, take responsibility for your decisions and choices and avoid blaming the other person for your decisions.  Active listening is a key trait in a successful relationship.  Without judgement, listen to what your partner is trying to communicate to you, paraphrase what you have heard and try to avoid using tone!

2/ Quality time. This is something that often gets lost in many relationships today.

Prioritising time with the person you love and care for is essential in any relationship. Spending time together can strengthen your bond because you are fully focused on each other.  You don’t need to spend every minute of the day together, just pencil in a few moments daily, to check in and do something you both like to do.  This is a perfect way to recharge your relationship batteries.

3/Show appreciation for your partner

With our busy scheduling these days we all tend to be on automatic pilot.  Noticing and acknowledging the little things your partner does, instead of focusing on the things they don’t do, can support your connection and improve your relationship.

4/ Support – Be there for your partner.

It’s important you have your partner’s back!   Both partners need to feel secure in the relationship knowing that they have the full support of the other, regardless of the circumstances. You don’t necessarily have to agree, you just need to demonstrate empathy and support of your partner’s feelings.

‘However, if there is abuse in your relationship please seek professional support’.

5/ Trust

Healthy relationships require mutual trust between both partners. Knowing your partner is always open an honest with you instils a solid foundation in your relationship.  If trust has been broken in a relationship, it can be a long journey back to stability and happiness. For the person who has broken trust in the relationship, they need to be transparent in all communications and willing to support change to rebuild trust.  For the recipient, if you have made the decisions to stay in your relationship,  you need to be open to your feelings and receptive to forgiveness.

 

‘If you are struggling to overcome your trust concerns,  professional support can guide you both towards reconciliation and regaining the trust’.

Holding Hands, Couple, Man, Woman, Love

February 1, 2019

10 SIGNS YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Engagement, Couple, Romance, Bike

10 signs you are in a healthy relationship

By: Solace Counselling Services:

I have created this list for you to instil awareness to the fundamentals of a healthy relationship.  If you feel your relationship does not have these points, its important you address your concerns with your partner and/or seek professional support. 

1/ Your relationship is a safe place

What I mean by this is; you feel comfortable in your relationship, sure you may argue, most couples do  after all, we are ALL uniquely different!

However, to feel you can be yourself in your relationship without prejudice, is an important factor in a healthy relationship. Knowing your partner is there for you, having your back through thick and thin creates a safe space for you.

2/ You trust each other and show respect to one another

Your healthy relationship is built on trust and commitment to one another. 

Open communication without reservations or secrets is imperative to building a strong bond between the two of you.  If you are concerned about trust in your relationship you can head to this website; https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/relationship_trust  and take the quiz for more awareness.

3/ You have empathy and kindness in your relationship

You treat your partner with kindness and you demonstrate empathy towards one another. Together you Identify your future goals and work together in achieving them.

4/ You make joint decisions

You share the majority of decisions in your relationship.  You don’t expect your partner to carry the responsibility in managing these decisions.  

This joint decision can range from financial, childcare, even deciding on a  restaurant together. You support each other and work together.

5/ You have the space to speak your mind

You feel comfortable in expressing openly your thoughts and feelings without fear of retribution.

Successful relationships are built on a foundation of openness and honesty.

6/ You can have your own space

You both take time to pursue your own interests, supporting your personal growth and development.

However…..

It’s important to remember not to sacrifice quality time with your partner and family, or resentment will creep into your relationship

7/ You agree and support one another on your roles in your relationship such as work, household duties, children

You have collaborated and agreed upon your roles regarding the external responsibilities in your relationship. Such as; how you support one another in raising your children, how you divide up the household responsibilities, planning holidays or socialising, work commitments, 

8/ You display emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship

You feel connected with your partner, intimacy involves both emotional and physical closeness and openness in your relationship. Intimacy can improve our mental health and physical well-being. Research has shown intimacy in your relationship can reduce your stress, & blood pressure levels and can boost your immune system.

9/ You have effective communication in your relationship

Effective communication shows value and respect in your relationship.  You feel comfortable to approach your partner to discuss any topic, knowing you will be heard.

Active listening plays an important part in a healthy relationship along with empathy and understanding towards each other’s thought’s feelings and opinions.

10/ You have healthy arguments

Disagreements are normal in any relationship. You fight fairly and productively. 

Name calling and put downs is a no-go zone and reliving past disputes are all unhealthy in a healthy relationship. 

‘Well.., there you have it, my 10 Signs you are in a Healthy Relationship.‘

‘I hope this has supported you in identifying areas in your relationship that may need work or perhaps this list has reinforced to you that your relationship is in fact healthy!’

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